Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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