OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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