five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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