I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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