I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
