so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
they call him Oral-B. enough said
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
