i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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