margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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