ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
