No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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