What a fucking waste of an outfit
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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