how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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