: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize