You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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