the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
