dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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