I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
