I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
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i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
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This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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