you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize