I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
