Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
