You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
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Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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