you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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