he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
