Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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