apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
