is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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