dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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