Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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