i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
