There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
