Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
