I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
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When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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