i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
