I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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