Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
