Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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