i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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