Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
