True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dignity is for republicans.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
