why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
