i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i love accidental penises.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
