Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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