Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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