well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
