cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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