she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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