I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
