Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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