the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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