You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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