As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
