when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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