my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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