I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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