He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
