Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
