dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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