He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
