I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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