why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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