i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize