How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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