we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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