Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Someone signed my nipple.
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