Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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